Faithful Departed
by Quicksilver
Summary: Tamahome and Taka are two distinct people, and it is Nuriko who shows Taka the way. Story 6 of 7, can stand alone.


  
Taka/Tamahome must have some serious issues, having two sets of memories. This piece doesn't conform to cannon precisely, but I think it's still an interesting study. This piece is set after everything happens- we're assuming the OAVS (both sets) never occurred, and that Tamahome's reborn name was Taka and he had his memories- two sets of them....  
Now how does he deal with Nuriko? Nuriko is just a memory from a past life.... or is he?  
  
This graveyard hides a millions secrets  
The trees know more then they can tell  
The ghosts of saints and artists will haunt you  
In heaven and in hell  
  
Look over your shoulder; hear the schoolbell ring  
Another day of made-to-measure history  
I don't care if your heroes have wings  
Your terrible beauty's been torn  
  
You're a history book I never could write  
Poetry in paralysis, too deep to recite  
Dress yourself, caress yourself; you've won the fight  
We're going to celebrate tonight  
  
We'll even climb the pillar (like we always meant to)  
Watch the sun rise over the strand  
Close our eyes and we'll pretend   
It could somehow be the same again  
  
I'll bury you upright so the sun doesn't blind you  
You won't have to gaze at the rain and the stars  
Faithful departed, there's no brokenhearted  
And no more distress in your world without end  
  
Quicksilver's Quill Offers  
Faithful Departed  
mbsilvana@yahoo.com  
standard disclaimers  
Author's Note: The poem "Faithful Departed" was written by Philip Chevron- and it's one of my favorites.  
  
  
As I walked here, now, I wonder. I have always been unique as a child- I remember a life that is not mine, people I have never met, battles I have never fought. They speak of reincarnation, and somehow I believe. I am what is called an old soul.  
It is not often that a past life dictates what becomes a future one. I am unique in that regard. I have met my soulmate, and she, too, recalls that former life, but for her, it was not reincarnation that brought us back together, but a miracle. She speaks of magic and monsters, villains and heroes, and I wonder. Could she be telling the truth? I have never known Miaka to be a liar- perhaps a little flaky, but not a liar.  
I dream of my brothers, brothers by destiny. Face after face, name after name. Hotohori, Tasuki, Chiriko, Chichiri, Mitsukake- they are there. And one special one- my oniisan, Nuriko.  
The Nuriko of my dreams comes in many forms. Sometimes he is a man, sometimes she is a woman. I remember getting kissed by her rather passionately, and when I mentioned that dream to Miaka, I could practically see her fume. She is a gentle soul, except where I am concerned. Then she is as fierce as any tiger. I remember a tiger…..  
But I was speaking of Nuriko. Nuriko is confusing, the epitome of strength to me- perseverance, determination, and beauty- combined with delicacy that is undeniable. He was a slight man, and many mistook him for a woman, something he delighted in. A mischievous puck, was Nuriko.  
I remember his death. He was the first to die.  
It's not fair. Throughout my childhood, rather then having dreams of bogeymen and youmas that my mother could scare away with a few soothing words, I dreamt of death. Not mine- that would have been easier to deal with. No, I dreamt of the death of friends, his in particular.  
I held him tightly against me, feeling the warmth of his blood seep into the snow, and I grieved. He was not a true rival, though he loved Miaka as much as I did, but a comrade, someone who knew how to chase away the dark times and replace them with laughter. After he died... well, that was when I started to truly lose hope. My family had been slaughtered by an insane child- and then I lost my closest friend. Life was unbearably cruel- if I hadn't had Miaka....  
He was so beautiful. Everyone always mistook his fragile beauty for that of a woman, and I sometimes wished he was. He was impossible hard to understand- like one of those jigsaw puzzle boxes- you know the one I mean? Just as soon as you have one side solved, you have to undo it so you can attempt to work on another. I always was horrible with those Rubix cube thingies anyway. After a while I gave up trying to understand Nuriko. It was a task that would only give me a headache in the long run, and I wasn't a masochist. He was more then his looks, though few seemed to realize it. When he died, Mitsukake insisted on healing his body so he was still beautiful. I could have told the healer then that it was unnecessary- Nuriko wasn't there- his shining soul was gone. But it seemed to comfort the larger man, so I held my peace. Or Tamahome did- I'm not Tamahome, but it is through his eyes that I remember these things.  
I get a headache trying to sort myself out. Sometimes I will wake up in the morning, completely disoriented, unsure if I'm in Konan or Tokyo. It's only gotten worse since I've met Miaka, this sense of confusion. Am I Taka? Am I Tamahome? Or am I something entirely different? Those questions kept running through my mind.  
I was in a major accident a few weeks ago. I was crossing the Tokyo street, off in my own little world when a car came careening towards the child who was walking right in front of me. I didn't have time to think; I reacted, grabbing the child, I flung her towards the curb where onlookers were looking on at the impending tragedy with concern. Then it was too late- I felt an impact, and suddenly I was airborne, and falling into darkness. I hit something hard, and then fell into blessed unconsciousness.  
I'm not sure if it was a dream or not. A lot of people report near-death experiences, but this was different. There was no white light, no tunnel with people telling me to go through.  
I groggily opened my eyes to find myself sitting in a place where there was nothing- just darkness swirling around me. I was so frightened- it seemed as though the darkness wanted to swallow me whole, and there was no action I could take to defend myself. I sat, holding my arms protectively around myself, wondering if this was death.   
"Hey, Taka-chan!" a voice said cheerfully, and at first I didn't recognize his distinctive alto. It was only because the different second syllable. Odd, to here Nuriko call me by that name.  
"Nuriko?" I whispered in disbelief.   
"Hai!" he said cheerfully. In the darkness a brilliant purple light flared, and when my eyes adjusted, I could see Nuriko's features clearly in the darkness. His face was serious, and his hair was still cut off. He was wearing a bright red outfit accented by purple and silver, and though the garment was meant for a male, there were some distinctly feminine features about it. The flowing shirt was longer then usual, and the sleeves were flared at the wrist. His shoes were a matching red, but I noticed delicate purple flowers embroidered on them. His noticed me staring at them.  
"I liked them- what can I say?" he said defensively.  
"You could learn that purple and red don't match.... someone with purple hair shouldn't WEAR red," I informed him, even though he looked splendid.   
He sighed. "Seems some things don't change, Taka-chan," he sighed with exaggerated patience. "You will never learn how to appreciate style when you see it."  
I smiled at him, and forgot the whirling shadows that seemed to retreat in fear from his presence. I was safe as long as Nuriko was there, I was sure. "Where are we?" I asked.  
This time he scowled out me, and he was serious. "You are such a baka," he told me. "We're on the plane between life and death, which is why you can see me. You managed to get yourself hurt by one of those mechanical contraptions of your new world. I understand you were saving a child, but you were a Suzako Seishi! You should have been able to avoid it and still protect the child! It's almost as though you wanted to get hit," he accused me. Then his eyes widened. "You let yourself get hit," he whispered, his eyes filling with tears. "Why? Why?" he asked me.  
I started to vehemently deny it, but stopped short. "I wasn't thinking," I told him.  
He reached out and hit me in the face. Hit me like he MEANT it.  
I had never before been subject to one of his hits. He used to play around and slam us into walls, but it was always in play. He had restrained his strength, but I had never realize how much he had held back. This slap sent me tumbling off into the darkness, and it was quite a while before I came to a rest. He trailed after me, standing in the midst of nothingness, staring down out at me with grim promises written in his eyes. "Damn right you weren't thinking!" he exploded, sounding more like Tasuki then himself. "Why would you want to die?" he demanded.  
"I don't know... I can't keep it straight anymore...." I whispered. "Am I Tamahome? Am I Taka?"  
His eyes gentled, and he slid down, wrapping his arms around me. I fell forward into them gratefully, burying my face in his shoulder as I cried. I don't know exactly what I was crying about, but maybe it was everything. Maybe nothing. But when I stopped, I felt much better. I pulled away from him, but felt no embarrassment.  
Nuriko's face was thoughtful. "I can't tell you who you are... that's something you have to decide for yourself. But let me give you this advice," he said slowly. "Don't force yourself to live the way you think other people would want you to- I did that for Kourin- I BECAME Kourin, or so I thought, and lost track of who Ryuuen was. Needless to say, my head was pretty messed up for a while after that. So don't try to be who you think Taka is, or who you think Tamahome was. You are YOU," he told me.  
His advice was confusing, and I'm still trying to figure it out, but I think I understand what he meant. "I'll think on that," I promised him then.  
He smiled at me, his smile as sweet as I remembered it being. "You have to go, Taka-chan," he told me. "Miaka will be worried if you don't wake up soon."  
"Hai," I said, and I started to feel the darkness give way before me. "I love you, Nuriko," I told him. "I've never had a better friend."  
"I love you, too, Taka-chan," he said as he started to fade away. "Know that I will always be there for you, even if you can't see me," he promised. "Hug Miaka for me, will you?" he asked as he disappeared entirely.  
I opened my eyes, and Miaka was there, leaning over my bed.   
"Taka!" she cried joyfully, then started to smother my face with kisses. "I thought you would never wake up!"  
"I had encouragement," I said secretively.   
Arigatou, Nuriko. I know that you're there, somewhere.   
  
  
Next Up- The Finale!!!  
Miaka... my head hurts even thinking about it- she's the one character I simply CAN'T write well....  
Anyway it's "Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night". Miaka has as many denial issues as Tasuki. 


End file.
